photo: recent sketchbook pages
Hello again,
I hope the beginning of a new year is going well for you. Many of us enjoy simple, quiet living - I know that from reading your emails and comments. This year will not be dramatically different, or it might be - we can simply take one day and another, as they arrive. Who knows which way the wind will blow, is that old, maybe hackneyed phrase, that comes to mind.
Before I go on any further, I want to get a bit of disappointing news out of the way. And yes I am going to have to mention my foot saga - as it seems to want to be more than a footnote this year (ha, not funny ha). Unfortunately, just before Christmas, despite my attempt at optimism and believing it was all healing well, x-rays told otherwise. Basically, the bones have not been mending. It is likely I will need surgery; the bones will be pinned/bolted and I will be off my foot completely for at least six weeks. I go back to see the consultant on the 1st Feb to confirm this - between now and then, if a small miracle happens and the bones start to fuse then that would be wonderful. But, alas, I have to say I am in discomfort.
So I start the year with some uncertainty. But such is life. I am so grateful I have my creative work/life - which is much more than an escape.
I will be honest with you, this is not the first time that ill health has impacted my life. Of course, that would be quite remarkable if it were so! Over the years I have dealt with sometimes quite dark periods of depression. I have had depressive illness since childhood. But over time, I have had professional help, support from friends and family, and most importantly I have found ways to help myself - creative ways to help. I am so grateful to have these personal tools, especially at a time like this. More than anything, I know I can be helped by a strong creative pulse. I mention this knowing that many readers may relate. I want you to know that I am not someone held back but a person who has found ways to move through, stumbling at times, but nevertheless quietly hopeful.
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Thinking of my creative work: what good things am I planning and looking forward to in 2023?
Oh, now that’s a prompt for a serious shopping list! To keep with my need to focus and live simply, let me share with you five main things I want to continue on with this year.
In no particular order.
Tiny paintings - I love painting tiny paintings, hope you might have noticed! I am so glad to have found the size that works for me. The intimate space of a tiny painting that gives such great opportunity. I treat each painting as a huge opportunity to explore ideas. A chance mark or colour combination can take me places. They can be worked on a little at a time - indeed I have to allow layers to dry and come back to them - so they are ideal for me to work on when I need to take regular breaks. I have many more ideas to explore - landscapes, still life, portraits - just about everything.
photo: some recent winter tiny paintings (lucky dips)
Sketchbooks - have always been at the heart of my studio life, filling up pages helps me understand what might be next, or what is beneath an older idea. Sketchbooks are the artefacts of day to day musing and what-iffing. They are humble, often scrappy and never take themselves too seriously. They are what I get to keep. More than journals, they are like friends and strangers coming together.
photo: various artist books I am working on at the moment
Artist books - related to my sketchbooks (there’s a close sisterhood) - but with something more focused about them, often very detailed and multi-dimensional, artist books intrigue me in so many ways. I especially want to focus on making one of a kind special books that come with their own safe keeping boxes. I want to devote time to these objects, creating books that are multi-layered and full of lively stories.
photo: a peek at a fold-out page for a new artist book I am working on. This book will come with its own safe keeping box and will feature a variety of drawings.
Hand stitch - I have found myself more and more comforted and inspired to use a hand-held needle and thread/yarn. My wool embroidery (mostly french knots) has so many possibilities to explore. Patchwork, cross stitch and other ways of working by hand also appeal to me. I am especially encouraged by using colour play and texture.
photo: a recently completed personal project - a french knots cushion using up the red I had in my vintage wools stash.
Writing - I want to write more about what it is to be a creative ‘older’ woman - or a woman in her fifties, moving through the world. In the past I have written poetry and fiction, but I feel more inclined toward writing essays, or at least snapshots of life. That I don’t want to define too much - I would like to explore the edges of things. What is it they call it these days - auto-fiction? Maybe that. Let’s see….
Of course there may be other ideas and projects along the way.
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A few small stories from this week
I have a new way of doing the washing up these days - I kneel on a chair. It saves me from standing on my sore foot for too long. So I kneel and cannot help imagining myself as a small child, for I still am one at heart. I’m learning, all over again, to see things - as things and to enjoy what is there to be seen through the kitchen window: the simplest weeds, a dove lifting moss with its beak, devouring a livid worm.
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One of the gifts my daughter received from family was a mini set of perfumes. She has never shown much interest in scent or cosmetics before, but now she is mixing and blending ‘a day in the clouds’ with ‘in the midnight hour’. It’s quite intoxicating. Now she loves wearing perfume. It’s giving her a boost. Before leaving for work at the post office she sprays herself with ‘whispers of the forest’ and a dash of ‘moments of rebellion’. Watch out testy customers…..
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What’s coming to the shop: I hope to add a modest selection of tiny paintings and a few drawings to my shop this coming Wednesday. You can preview all the new artworks from 3pm UK time. They will be available from 8pm. I am in the process of creating new artist books and more detailed work that will take a few more weeks. Thank you to everyone who has recently purchased a ‘lucky dip’ painting or two - much appreciated! I am always busy with these and enjoy the process of painting them, wrapping them so I cannot see what I am sending to you etc..- very much. Thank you!
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Thanks always for reading here, for your valuable comments, emails and for liking this post. I appreciate your interest very much and hope that if you have yet to subscribe you will do so - you will receive an email on Sundays, for free, with my thanks. If you would like to support these studio notes and my writing then you are welcome to buy me a coffee.
My hope is to continue to send these studio notes most Sundays - if I need to take a break I will do, and I hope you will understand. Thanks always.
Happy New Year Cathy, I am sorry your foot is not yet mended, I send healing thoughts your way. I broke my ankle 2 years ago & have some sense of your discomfort. Reading today's https://poetryunbound.substack.com/ at the same time as your Studio Notes make me think you might appreciate Padraig O' Tuama too. Be well & heal quickly. xo Michele
"And what better way to start the year than with a question about love:
'What, now that you are the magnificent age you are, do you now recognise as love, even if it was difficult to recognise at the time?'
This is the substance of the poetry of our lives, and the substance of the art of living."
Friend, i deeply appreciate your being open here about your personal bouts of depression; i know from experience that being open during emotionally bleak times is often a difficult task. i commend you for handling these stretches by nurturing and channeling your beautiful creative spirit; this, too, for myself can be a tremendous challenge that you have passed through with your very special creations. i love you, and am even more grateful for your artwork in knowing it grows from your own personal journeys.
I’m also sending healing wishes your way across the pond for a deeper level of physical mending. I can only imagine how disappointed you must feel upon hearing the latest health reports on your foot. i know without a doubt that from this setback will come deeply beautiful art from your heart and soul. Sending so much love to you. xoxo