This time of year is a sweet moment for me physically, as my sleep pattern matches up with the sun. I wake between five and five thirty, most days. I am in bed by nine thirty. The sun and I enjoy the gentle pattern of longer daylight and deep rest. On a cloudy, chilly day I will feel a little disgruntled, as if my friend has forgotten me, does not want to come out to play today. On a bright morning, I feel a quiet energy and hope I can make the most of it through the day, without exhaustion.
In a few weeks from now, who knows what the weather will be like - this is England. As a woman at the bus stop said to me just a few days ago: we are British, we need to complain about the weather! But just now, we are enjoying.
This morning, as I refilled the bird seed feeders in the garden, I looked about and saw a robin watching me. A bright chap perched on a close-by branch with a slick of worm in his beak. He had such a bright eye on me and I said my good morning and he did that little bow that robins do, before flying away. It was so quiet this morning I could hear the raucous magpies, of course, but also the donkeys that live a ten minute walk away. I am glad the donkeys are still residing in their spot on top of the hill, as land nearby is being built on - there’s a large new development of very expensive houses. The south of England is desperately short of anything like affordable housing and I despair at the thought of my rent going up soon - but here we are. Welcome to sunny England!
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A pencil drawing from June 2015
Just A Pencil
Over the past several weeks I have shared with you a few notes on my complex relationships with paint and thread. This week I am placing a single, basic graphite or ‘lead’ pencil on the table in front of me and writing a little love note to it.
Of course let’s begin with a few random early memories. Pencils shared in a class of children still learning which way up to hold a pencil. Chewed pencils and stubby little things that you could barely grip. Those were the pencils of classroom filled with the scent of pencil shavings. Being told you could poison yourself if you chewed the pencil and doing it anyway. Sharpening a pencil to avoid doing work, of course. Then, having responsibility for a pencil. Forgetting your pencil, lending your pencil and never seeing it again. Having that one pencil that will get the sum right, draw the flower correctly, remember the spellings for this week.
Then drawing pencils and HB and 2B or not 2B, or is this pencil professional enough - is that the question? Who cares, I like to draw with a biro. But this is about pencils. So pencil me in, gently, with a wistful smile and using an eraser when the art teacher is not looking. We all want to gently erase ourselves into other pictures, Sir. Let us turn over the paper and begin again but a lot bigger and bolder. Not quite charcoal, but plenty of smudge.
a pencil drawing from 2017
That dark grey streak along your hand from pressing against a drawing. Several years ago I purchased only chunky pencils - all the favourites: B, 4B etc… but beautiful chunky girls that allowed me to really fill up a space and also made me concentrate on taking care. Pencils can be pricey but cheap ones do the job just fine.
I like erasers. I like putty that can be mangled and massaged and thrown. I like hard little erasers on the end of cheap pencils - sometimes they do the job just right, they can be the only thing you can find because how many erasers have I purchased to date? So many, so many. Asking one of my children if they have an eraser and or pencil sharpener and finding out they lent it to me and never saw it again, Mum. Oh dear. For Mother’s Day, my daughter bought me a big handful of pretty floral pencils with erasers on the end and they sit in a jug on a cupboard, and I use these pencils always for writing thank you notes to customers. They are the happiest pencils ever.
Will digital drawing take pencils away from us? A humble graphite drawing may get lost on the screen, compared to digital artwork. There will always be people who love grey pencils, though. Never mind if they are not the most Instagram-lovey, as eye-catching as colour - we can still appreciate the gentle and dark worlds pencils conjure. Just because anyone can own a pencil, can draw with a pencil, does not make a pencil easy to handle well.
two pencil drawings in sketchbooks - 2011
Dear pencil, you are special to me. My hand’s partner. You know my habits by now. I begin with one eye and then the other. I smudge, I frown, I draw in a frown and take it away. There are leaf patterns and shadows all over the table from where I have been using you up. Dear pencil, we can be friends forever - despite my inclination to over-sharpen and then break you, I will never snap you intentionally. I know I may lose you but find you, or one of your sisters, somewhere. Under the bed, there’s always you. I can draw with you on the go, on the bus, leaning on my knee in a loud concert hall, in a hospital waiting room, as I fall asleep in bed, in the world foods aisle of the supermarket, or on top of a mountain. Though, pencil, it is true, I seldom go up mountains and if I did we would both feel a little giddy.
And so pencil, when I need to simply draw you are there for me. In a world of colour and shouted: me, me, what about me - you are the most down to earth friend. Patiently, I take you and we work in quiet moments. You calm and slow me down. And in my dreams, I see you in a thousand lost drawings and a thousand yet to be….
A framed pencil drawing that hangs in our hallway (from about 2011)
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a few notes from this week
A tremendous thunderstorm, apparently. But I slept right through. Don’t worry, my daughter says, it was at the front of the house. She usually listens to birdsong through the night (phone app) but had to switch it off because the birds and the thunder were not a good mix.
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Late morning, stepped outside for a moment to just breathe - I look up and see a kite wheeling about in the sky. This kite has no string but is a bird of prey. Several have appeared above our neighbourhood in recent times. I see them regularly now but always at a distance - but today this kite is right above me and perfectly lit in a clear sunny sky, with a golden tail and I can even see its beak in detail. It glides, slowly. Yes, it has seen me looking up at it. These birds, according the the RSPB website are about 66cm long but their wingspan can be taller than I am by quite a bit - 175cm to 195cm. It is extraordinary to see a bird of this size above suburbia.
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I’ve been over-dyeing threads for hand stitching. Saddening the colours to make them look a little older, interesting and gently variegated. I take bright or pale colours in my stash - these are DMC six stranded threads for cross stitch etc.. I soak the threads in black tea for twenty minutes or longer. I take a large glass jar and place within it an antique iron key, warm water and a slosh of white vinegar (about a tablespoon I suppose). Once the threads have been soaked in tea, I transfer them directly to the jar and stir. The jar’s water soon turns blackish and I know the iron is doing its magic. I wait another short while, or even longer. Then I take the threads out and rinse thoroughly. Colours shift in subtle or dramatic ways. Yellows will become greenish, gold. Reds will become deeper and autumnal. The threads have gentle variegation and tones. The linen fabric has also been dyed in a similar way. This is one of my new favourite little things to do. I keep a jar of iron water on the kitchen windowsill.
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And a little shop related news - this week I am updating as usual on Wednesday at 8pm with a new selection of drawings and paintings.
The following week will be different. We are having a royal take-over happening with Jubilee celebrations - meaning there are bank holidays on Thursday June 2nd and Friday 3rd June. All sorts of events are happening across the UK, so I gather. Myself, I am planning a few days off. But before that I will be having a special SUMMER BAZAAR sale on Monday 30th May at 8pm UK time. This will be a sale of random artworks from my archives and a few new random things - by things I mean artwork and hand made items I might not usually sell. You are the first to know about this, but I thought you might like to know ahead of time rather than leave it until next Sunday to let you know.
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Always a pleasure to read your studio notes :)
Lovely notes Cathy!